|
|
Dianic Gaianism, My Own Personal Path
All my life I have been filled with a deep connection to the Earth as well as a deep curiosity about the Universe. One of my first truly spiritual experiences came at the tender age of two when I saw pictures of the Earth from space as taken by the Apollo 11 astronauts. The sight of Gaia, our Mother, captivated me as a child. I was fortunate that my parents noticed and encouraged my fascination with space and nature and bought me many books on both. As a child, I could sit for hours absorbed in the beauty of the Universe and this small planet upon which we live. Come to think of it, that hasn't changed at all.
Growing up, I pursued a course of studies that focused upon the sciences as I was determined to become an astronaut if I could. When I learned that I couldn't qualify due to health problems, I switched my focus to the study of astronomy, which had always been a love of mine. The more I learned the more awed I became with the complexity and wondrous diversity both on Earth and elsewhere in the Cosmos.
During this time, I discovered my other calling, one that compliments my love of astronomy. This was a spiritual calling to become a Dianic priestess. I found my calling at the age of twelve while researching a paper I was writing for my seventh grade history class. I had chosen to do a paper on the Witch Trials and wound up finding a reference to The Holy Book of Women's Mysteries (volumes 1 & 2) in a feminist text on the subject. Intrigued, I ordered a copy of the works from a local independent bookstore that catered to the university crowd. I read it avidly when I got it. It just made so much sense! Soon thereafter I found the wonderful woman who became my first teacher. She was a family friend who told me about her path after I showed her the books. She and the coven with which she practiced enriched my life in more ways than I can count and put me on a firm footing on my Path.
As I grew older and matured in my spiritual vision, I found the environmental movement. I had grown up reading books on ecology and seeing things about it on TV, but it didn't really connect with me until Earth Day, 1990. I attended a local Earth Day celebration with my youngest sister and my baby daughter. What I learned there solidified in me feelings that had been there in a very ephemeral form and gave them a name. Soon thereafter I met folks who were members of Earth First!, a very radical environmental group. I joined them and learned from them while pursuing a degree in physics focusing on astronomy/astrophysics and becoming part of a large Pagan community for the first time in my life.
I spent five wonderful, magical years in this community. I was completely separated from my family by the distance from my birthplace in the Midwest and college in the Rockies for the first time ever, and it gave me the opportunity to come completely into my own as a person. I explored my own theories on child rearing, which seem to have worked well thus far. I entered for a while into a Nest relationship with several others, sharing a home and life with them. I lived my spiritual path day in and day out unencumbered by the awkward necessity of having to hide it from my family. I know for certain that it is this essential period of time that defined my inner being and gave me clarity of purpose.
So how does all this lead to Dianic Gaianism? As I've tried to show, it has been an organic process for me, twenty years in the making. My inherent love and affinity for the Earth and my Dianic path naturally synthesized together beyond what I had lived already into a full expression of reverence for Gaia, Mother Earth. She is the embodiment of what I feel in my deepest being. About a year or so ago, this started to solidify in form. I wrote a short essay for my website on my relationship with Gaia. Below I quote from that essay:
Gaia is more than an anthropomorphism of the planet; She is a nurturing Mother, the womb of birth and the peace of death. … For me, each act of stewardship I do that contributes to the well being of the plants and animals of my home is an act of respect and reverence of She Who Gives Life. My favorite time of year is spring. I love planting and tending to the young shoots, feeling my hands in the soil, and connecting with the energy there. This is LIFE. The cycle of growth, flowering, putting forth seed and death are all a natural expression of Her wisdom. It reminds me that death is not to be feared; it's not unnatural. The decay of the old is compost: nutrition for the new.
Since then, I have gone farther down this particular road. I'm not a monotheist by any stretch of the imagination. I invoke the various Goddesses when the situation calls for it and thank them for Their blessings. However, Gaia holds my heart. She is Mother to us all, and we owe Her our respect and care. She is home to all life here. The soil and rocks are Her body. Her blood is both water and magma. All organisms, whether we like them or not, are Her children. She is alive, and She communicates with us every day, if we will only listen for Her voice in the wind. I feel like I am most fully living my path now that I have acknowledged this. Don't get me wrong, reverence for the Earth was taught to me with incense crafting and everything else. Now, however, it has redefined my path into something new.
It's hard to explain, really. I'm not eloquent when it comes to things I feel so deeply that for me there are no words. It has been changing how I express myself through my ritual work and my daily communion with Goddess. My path has gone from being very eclectic, almost generic at times, to a very defined and clear one. My ritual work has become very focused on the cycles of the Wheel, as they are experienced here in the Midwest. I might work with other ideas as well, but the big part of every Sabbat is focusing on how this point in the Wheel manifests in the world. The activities that I started in college have stayed with me and become an integral part of my life. It's amazing what can be learned about the Earth from living the Wheel of the Year as an active part of life. It's profoundly moving to find those things in the local environment that mark the turning of the seasons and give each area its own character.
To go from the early spring when I feel the Earth awakening from Her long rest, the seeds and bulbs bursting with new life and the trees and other perennial plants coming back from their winter's rest, and watching the first crocus valiantly make their way through the remnants of the snow. Then as spring's tide progresses and I feel the pull of what is still called Spring Fever: the urge to connect and create and mate. It's intoxicating at times. The trees bud and bloom, and the squirrels in our backyard come out to play again. Where I live, spring through mid-autumn is a wonderful, but dangerous time due to the squalls which can blow in off the Great Lakes, bringing with them the possibility of tornadoes. It's a fact of life, and one to which I am quite accustomed. I love it! I admit it; I love storms, and their possibility is just another facet of my connection with the Earth here. The beginning and end of tornado season are their own markers in the Wheel of the Year. Summer comes and the entire world is alive.
Feeling the heat of the sun on my back as I tend my garden and play outdoors with my daughter and nieces reminds me of the vitality which is poured so generously from the Mother's bounty - all the work and play in preparation for Lammas and the first harvest. Where I live, harvest starts early with fruits and early beans and tomatoes. One of my favorite summer rituals is to go to the U-Pick strawberry farms and get buckets of the fresh, ripe berries both for the sheer pleasure of munching on by themselves and for such things as pies and chocolate dipping. Autumn here is ushered in by windy weather. Not cold, not rainy, just windy. Beginning around Mabon and continuing through almost to Yule, another sign of autumn shows up: fresh-pressed apple cider. I think that's my favorite sign that harvest season is truly upon us. There is nothing like it. This area has many apple orchards, and the supply of inexpensive, abundant apples is a nice bonus come fall.
The foliage turns sometime in later October. The smell of the crunchy fallen leaves fills the air and puts me in the mindset for Samhain. I pull out the lovely black gauze for my altar and decorate with the plentiful pumpkins, Indian corn, and gourds that are grown locally. The energy changes so much, feeling the Earth prepare for winter again. It gets dark very early and all I want to do is stay inside and hibernate. Little things like making sure I still know where the snow shovel is and buying the large coarse salt for the steps mark the final transitions from the warmth of Indian summer to true winter. Yule season heralds itself with teasing snowfalls, gently reminding all the plants that it's time again to sleep. The heavy blankets come out of storage as the nights get radically colder than the days. I sometimes wonder as I drive to and from work in the dark if I will ever see sunlight again. Activity almost drags itself to a halt once Yule passes and the January blahs set in. There are times when I truly feel my favorite Sabbat has to be Brighid. The winter has gone on interminably by this time and the knowledge that soon spring will return fills me with joy only mitigated by the knowledge that the month of February can be summed up in one word: slush. Good points and bad points, though, are all part of the Wheel and life. The purest expression of joy is to live it all fully and with an open heart.
Back to my Dianic Essays page...
